Author Archives: beckalouise

I try my best, but to some thats not good enough

Hello, its been a while. Its actually been over a year since I last posted anything on this blog. Its not that I haven’t wanted to write, I have… its more been finding the focus to write or having the confidence to say what I really want to say. I think that in previous posts,Continue reading “I try my best, but to some thats not good enough”

2021 has been meh

2020 was a difficult year because we lost Nan and then the pandemic didn’t exactly help but I had positive things happen like start to get a handle on my weight. I remained gamble free (and still am) and I remember thinking this time last year feeling quite positive about going into 2021. Well, ha,Continue reading “2021 has been meh”

Happy Heavenly 90th Nan

Today, 4th October 2020 would have marked Nans 90th birthday. I don’t really want to dwell on the fact she isn’t here to celebrate it with us, I feel that today should be a happy day. As a family we so badly wanted Nan to make 90, I remember many conversations in the months leadingContinue reading “Happy Heavenly 90th Nan”

Getting back to normal finding the new normal

I think we would all agree 2020 has been one heck of a weird year. When I think back to Nan going into hospital back in February despite only being 6 months ago almost to the day it feels like a completely different life and world. Coronavirus was present as there were plenty of signsContinue reading “Getting back to normal finding the new normal”

Grief – catches you when you least expect it.

Wednesday was four months since Nan died. That is 1/3 of a year – gone in a blink of an eye. Surprisingly, given the year that as a world we have had and the fact I have spent a good chunk of the last four months at home, its flown by. As a family weContinue reading “Grief – catches you when you least expect it.”

I miss her, but I am glad shes at peace.

I miss Nan so much and part of me wishes so so much I could have her still here with me however, part of me is relieved she is at peace now. Is that me saying I am glad shes not here? Of course not. Am I glad she isn’t suffering anymore? 100%. When sheContinue reading “I miss her, but I am glad shes at peace.”

“Excuse me, what is going on here?”

This week I have been thinking a lot about the funny memories, the cheeky Nan that made everyone laugh. One of most recent is one of the cutest and funniest, feisty Nan memories I have and only happened about 5 weeks before she passed away. Nan was admitted to hospital a couple of months beforeContinue reading ““Excuse me, what is going on here?””