2020 was a difficult year because we lost Nan and then the pandemic didn’t exactly help but I had positive things happen like start to get a handle on my weight. I remained gamble free (and still am) and I remember thinking this time last year feeling quite positive about going into 2021.
Well, ha, that went well. Going into a lockdown 5 days into the year didn’t really help me get off to a good start. I reached out to my GP in January to try and get support over my feelings around Nans death and all this did was start a chain of events that means I am in December now, I’ve put some weight on and I still feel like I am in a bit of a mess but finally I feel like I might be able to get my head back to where I was in July 2020 and go into 2022 with the mindset to create the healthiest mind and body possible. I do want to lose weight, that is no secret. It is for health reasons more so than it will ever be for how the mirror looks.
The GP in January changed my mental health medication and it was the biggest mistake I made this year because it led me on a cycle of over eating and I was out of control for a good few months. I kept trying to tell this GP that there was more going on and I had all these physical symptoms too that I wasn’t sure if it was down to the medication or something else and she just totally dismissed them out of hand and I felt majorly defeated one day at the end of June!!!
Well, thankfully I soon picked myself up, requested a different GP and was randomly assigned to a female GP that changed the latter part of my year for the better and is partly why I am sure I can make a turn in 2022! I make a point of stating a female GP because 99% of the time I do not get on with female doctors at all. I don’t know why, just one of those things. She listened to me on the first telephone appointment and I really felt for her because I honestly spoke faster than Usain Bolt doing the 100m and probably took as many breaths as I have punctuated this post in the correct places but hey ho, dyslexic and I have decided that you can take me as I am.
I had blood tests and 90% of them came back normal. I was like, golly here we go again sigh but then and to my actual surprise given that I had been eating a 90% gluten free diet for a year to support my mum with her own health conditions my markers for coeliac disease came back high enough to need further investigations. I was relieved because it wasnt all in my head, though speaking of head at this point she also changed me onto a much better medication and I am still on it now and doing so so so much better! I had my tests at the hospital to see if I do indeed have coeliac disease and well I do. So now gluten free isnt a choice, but at least I was sort of used to it. I just wish there was more options when out and about but I can’t grumble because I know that things are so much better now than they used to be! (Can still be better tho!)
Not only did she help me determine that it wasnt all in my head, she pushed for me to have the ultrasound that I was denied a couple of years ago to see if I have PCOS. I had this Ultrasound a couple of weeks ago and I do need to make an appointment to speak to her but thats top of my to do list for the new year! She is also (this is starting to sound like a long list of things she helped me with) helping me to look into trauma counselling because of stuff thats happened over the last few years.
I think really what I am trying to say is that I finally found a doctor that took me seriously from every angle and it has made the world of difference. So, really, I have been super quiet on here this year and numerous times I half started posts and then just lost the will to type so gave up. I have sat down and typed this down in about half an hour and thats how I know its my kind of post. Its not over thought or even re-read. I know there is going to be errors, but so be it. Grammar police come at me.
For now, I wish you a happy christmas!
I’ll be back in 2022 and also write more than 2 blooming posts in a year!!!!!
Becka. x
beckalou.co.uk 